The problem is someone I've known for many years also, we have always had a spark between us and i cant help but think about him. All men are not confused, all the time when it comes to dating and pursuing a woman. I’ve been following your blog for awhile, and I want to make big changes in my life, but I have no idea where to start. Tagged as: Big Questions , The ex-factor , Three is a crowd << Previous question Next question >> Remember: You were warned! The Source of Your Confusion Every summer for the last 8 years, I have taken groups of teens backpacking and camping in … I have a 1year old daughter. Nurture yourself. Of course I was confused I had twenty-some years of conditioning to be a certain way and things were changing and I was trying to open up my mind to … ... i am not desperate for a relationship but i feel like i miss being around him and talking to him. Hi there. Its so hard. At the time I was going through a tough time in my marriage i.e. Maybe you were once the first person your partner came to when he or she was worried or upset. Love yourself. That you are who you are. Would I do it again? I guess to let it get some rest and give myself space to think. But honestly, I wasn’t looking for a relationship during that time and it sorta just happened on its own. Your Relationship Doesn't Make You Happy. I have decided to create my own account with the hope that you will help me. Eventually, all of my clients ask me the same question: I'm with such a great guy (or girl), so why am I so scared of love? My husband tells him, so what, if he loves his wife, now she is married to him, so … We fought so may times over my son and I really feel he was jealous of my son and wanted all the attention. You know you should stop, but you do not have the willpower to do so on your own. But I’m so confused by all of my feelings. Evaluating Your Feelings About the Person Download Article Consider attraction. And now the message from God says TOTAL SEPARATION. So what’s next is a question you ask yourself all too often. Rudá made me realize that for a long time I’ve been trapped by the idea of having a perfect romance, and how that’s been sabotaging my relationships. Attraction is key … – Anonymous. He has no ambition, even though he is ridiculously smart and strong. One thing I discovered after 40+ years and therapy. My identity helps me to connect with others, my sense of self, my 'core', the sense of who I am. Is it time to end this relationship? Your feelings don’t fade. Often we cant see 'the wood for the trees", things that are so obvious to others - but we think our Love is special ( maybe it is) in spite of them not being able to show it and choose a life of torture continuing time and time again to give them the benefit of the doubt. But i took the extra step and had the fling. I have been confused about my sexuality for long time, but i moved on with my life and now i am sigle mother of 2 beautiful children but i was still confused and it didn’t feel right, so i took the quiz and it say that i am pansexual, but then i read A-Z list and i feel like i am … When you know something is wrong and ask your partner about, he or she clams up. One morning, you're up; by night, you're down… but by “down,” I don't mean in the dumps. Really, totally confused about my relationship. 8. He is great to me. I worry sometimes when others come to me and say I am confused about my sexuality and what they really are is scared. And focusing more on what we don’t have rather than the things we do. My marriage went a similar way. I really love him too. You Don’t Know What’s Next. I don’t know what to do. When someone is over a relationship, they’re not thinking about what their ex is thinking. You’ve committed to spend time with him but it’s on your terms, so it’s not a committed relationship as far as including him in your life in the big picture. This is a huge sign he’s still in love with you. So of freaking course I was confused when all this other stuff was finding its way out to the surface. I was like ookaaay! Stop Thinking and Get into Stillness. My partner irritates me what seems like ALLLLLLL the time, and more so recently because we have lost our connection. So I called my best friend. Many times I hear patients say, “I know he was a jerk and I’m better off without him, but I still miss him and want to see him. For the longest time I thought that I needed to be in love to feel fulfilled in life. I’m either with an EO man or I’m in another relationship where I am the EO girl. I know my work is of high quality, though my clients believe my work is of a genius. Re: Why am I so confused about my feelings? No goal means no direction or starting point. His younger brother didn’t have enough money so my mom paid for his ticket, as well.. His flight cost my mom$3000.. so my parents just spent $10,000 on 3 tickets. By the way the phone pings were from family members. I do get upset with him because of this and he says ‘ I carry you in my heart wherever I go’. I of course told him I can’t do it. Suddenly, I've lost all desire to see her, and I don't know why. All you can control are your own reactions to situations life throws your way. Being a Christian is making me miserable! I am a complete mess and don’t know what to do. Am so confused and I feel miserable. But I was and still in love with this man. im just confused on why the ex boyfriend was not brought up during your many phone conversations. The men do whatever they must to keep a safe distance. Instead of thinking My husband wants a divorce but I still love him, be your best self, and focus on YOU. Let alone a confused 16-year-old girl. And he doesn't hesitate to hit. Yup, this is the bullet point where I just start to sound … Life and love are two different things that are often very complicated so it is common to have confusions about it. I'm so confused ☹️. Ask the community. The excuses we make of why we can’t do that. I’m tired and I have reached my limit. You will never wake up alone, and someone will always be happy to see you when you come home. I am at decree nisi and at this point me and soon to be ex hunny getting along . – Wadsworth Longfellow. Kirsten did what a … I love to blog about inspirational and motivational pieces, but yours will definitely be a negative. Please help I am so confused hes saying that he wasnt abusive that hes put me on pedestal all those years . All the abusive words and ugly thing that he did. At least that's what the other person involved tells me. i dont know you or this woman, but to me it seems that she may have been unsatisfied with the sex. Give him the gift of missing you, as my mentor once said, and take control of … My sons are both autistic and have violent outburst from not knowing how to express themselves. If there’s anything I’ve noticed in my life, it’s that confusion is a given. I really love him but I ask if he just wants me physically. Stories 1. I'm Isabella, and I made this test to help my fellow bisexuals find out their true sexualities and to see if they might be bisexual, too. I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 1/2 years, since our junior year of college. TL;DR My otherwise-perfect date avoided talking about himself too much and I'm really curious about why. Also, he still comes into my workplace, where we met. If you have been questioning your sexuality, the most important step you can take is to come out to yourself. Get a pet: Seriously, I am fortunate to have two cats and a dog, and they have been my greatest support system. I'm so confused, I hardly know what to write. So here we are in the year 2013. I don’t know what my life purpose is, so I just end up procrastinating all day.” The person wants to change their life, but they see no goal for it. No matter what, a pet will love you, whether you’re angry, smelly, rich, poor; it is the only constant love in life. About a week ago or so, she said she needed some space and I was smothering her. Every individual who enters a relationship does so with their … Every time I see him, I feel so anxious and feel like I can’t act normal and this is so … i thought i was obliged to love him and i started to hold back. You landed here because you’re feeling lost and confused, and you’d like some concrete help with shifting and transforming that. This was 4 months ago. I still don't understand WHY my anxiety chooses to tell me this. When you need my smile to clear your foggy thoughts. Deepa (name changed) says: “I am in a relationship with my brother. That said, there's nothing stopping you from taking this quiz if you know your sexuality and/or are over 13. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth today as I am writing this testimony, and I want to really thank “DR iyare” for bringing back my husband, and for bringing joy and love to my family. Scared of what it might mean to who they are, their relationships with friends and family, having children and a hundred other things that circle in our heads. I feel like the moment I think I know what I am, something happens that makes me question everything that's come before. You cannot control the actions of another person. One sign that this is more than a crush: "Your feelings don't dissipate over time but get stronger and deeper," says Irina Firstein, LCSW. Often we cant see 'the wood for the trees", things that are so obvious to others - but we think our Love is special ( maybe it is) in spite of them not being able to show it and choose a life of torture continuing time and time again to give them the benefit of the doubt. ‘My heart is breaking and I am struggling not to pick up the phone if even just to hear his voice’. I know it’s weird and abnormal, and what makes it worse is the fact that we share the same parents. He responded no, just going through rough things now. Focus on what your needs are. So much of our own happiness comes down to the things we do, the things we are afraid to do. That’s why he focuses on overcoming negative perceptions, past traumas, and unrealistic expectations – the root causes of why many relationships break down. I am a complete mess and don’t know what to do. I'll tell you why he actually says these words in just a minute. Sometimes.its best to just walk away. It is hard for anyone to be totally authentic and open in a new relationship. I love to blog about inspirational and motivational pieces, but yours will definitely be a negative. You are deserving of love. He is my first love and I care greatly for him. Focus on what your needs are. But I am still confused for my relationship status. Trust me when I tell you this: When a man feels pressure to be in a relationship, he will always rebel against that pressure and fight for his freedom. Confusion is the psychological phenomena that happens to people when they cannot think clearly quickly. my eccentricities. I argue almost everyday with my partner. Having issues with the decision-making process usually means there are bigger problems at play. With this fear of accountability, these men fuel the wives’ worst fears of marital isolation. I’ve been following your blog for awhile, and I want to make big changes in my life, but I have no idea where to start. He looked really tired and confused , I could see in his eyes he is really having a hard time so I decided to take off the pressure of a relationship and told him we could still be Friends ( I don’t really know if I can because I really imagine us … The dilemma I’m confused about my sexuality. I’ve always fallen in love with men and feel emotionally and romantically attracted to them. I always thought I was straight, although at 36 I’ve never actually been in a sexual relationship. I’m not physically attracted to men, but I do feel aroused by women’s bodies. Have you heard of this before? Secretly, I get excited about seeing him, but when I feel I/he is getting too close, I get scared, but he is so patient and understanding. Nurture yourself. Quotes on Confused Love. There are toxic work environments, coworkers, friendships, parents, as well as toxic intimate relationships. I am currently going through a similar thing, would love to know how things went after 2 years. You will never wake up alone, and someone will always be happy to see you when you come home. I just don’t get it honestly. I might see myself as a woman, a girl, a wife, a mother, an employee - but my identity is shaped from much, much more. You are deserving of love. Never said no. The 7 Stages of Narcissistic Trauma Bonding. The Emotionally Distant Fear of Accountability. I have been with my boyfriend on and off for almost 6 years. He did share what they are. For a few months now, I've been seriously thinking that it is time to break up with him. He says he needs to time think through everything and that he loves me but just that right now he doesn’t know what he wants he is so confused. I am 41 & he is 54. ... And if you don’t like why I’m asking, then unsubscribe and quit wasting my time”. Threads merged So I've been my girlfriend nearly 6 months now. Love can also be confused with excitement when a relationship begins with the use of mood-enhancing drugs, heavy alcohol consumption, or intense sexual attraction. The relationship may lack the essential components of a healthy attachment, but in all the confusion you may avoid your real needs and also ignore... 2. i maybe you go after shitty guys because they're easier to let go then someone who gets really close to you and break your heart. I definitely feel guilt & remorse for leaving our spouses the way we did. I became a Born Again Christian about 3 years ago after a messy break up with my partner and a miserable few months. I am completely in love with my husband and we have been together for 11 years and I just don’t want to let him go. A study by Protected Paths revealed that about 75-80% individuals involved in incest had been previously molested by a known person which includes family members and relatives. He has told me that I am everything to him, that I am the only person he wants to be with, and that he can't see himself with anyone else. We had 2 and half years relationship. I know this, and I feel so blessed to have him in my life and yet here I am completely confused as to why I also feel so done. This is exactly the opposite of what the emotionally eager wives are seeking. People have so many options. COnfused with the relationship. Why am I feeling so confused, I'm falling for my new bf but my ex messes with my head. How are you? The men keep their feelings well hidden. I am by far an intelligent woman and have yet to find a way to help my narcissist. I guess to let it get some rest and give myself space to think. Only lasted 2 months then he chanhed his mind . 3) Come out to yourself. I was so confused because I don’t know where to draw the line. Myth #2: If your ex was a jerk, you won’t miss him. The truth is, the actual reason a man gives when he says he does not want to commit is irrelevant. “I group the things that seem to go together into columns, or if there are just many things swirling around in my head and heart, I write them all on different sections of a single piece of paper. – It is difficult to know at what moment love begins; it is less difficult to know that it has begun. I have been with my boyfriend on and off for almost 6 years. He says he needs to time think through everything and that he loves me but just that right now he doesn’t know what he wants he is so confused. I'm just lost. I am a perfectionist but a minimalist so it is even. I'm having an extremely difficult time articulating my question, let alone even a brief synopsis of my relationship. It isn’t like … I used to suck really really really bad at physics (I’m talking about not even understanding why gravity was a force or whatever) but after a good dose of Mastering Physics, hard-as-hell p-sets, office hours and The Great Dourmashkin, I’m doing waaaay better than I expected. Tagged as: Big Questions , The ex-factor , Three is a crowd << Previous question Next question >> I will try and keep this short. But honestly, I wasn’t looking for a relationship during that time and it sorta just happened on its own. Why am I so indecisive? We both get mad easily. So this is my story: Btw, sorry for my English mistakes. This is my first relationship ever and we honestly haven’t even fought from these past few months. From what you shared that sounds to me like you’re in a casual relationship. Some of your statistics are wrong. If you love a borderline man, it is wise to know what youre dealing with. Hello reddit! Its so … @tobevisible you will hurt your kids deeply by staying in this situation. Here are 5 reasons why your ex might be confused and not know if she wants to be with you or not: 1. We graduated last May, so we have been long distance for over a year now. I don’t know what my life purpose is, so I just end up procrastinating all day.” The person wants to change their life, but they see no goal for it. We’ve been together since 1999 – making it 14 years, married 9 years. I needed time to myself. Love yourself. Love can also be confused with excitement when a relationship begins with the use of mood-enhancing drugs, heavy alcohol consumption, or intense sexual attraction. Confused about my feelings for my boyfriend. I met this guy at an art gallery and I guess we hit it off. Like me, everyone thought we were so well suited. Hi ! I don’t know where to start, or what my passion is.”. No goal means no direction or starting point. When you start a new relationship, everything can be exciting. He may be confused about the relationship. It’s Okay To Not Be In Love. 3 Things To Do If You're Feeling Confused In A Relationship Now Im all confused. They can compare you to all the good characteristics (and leave out the bad) when they think of … I’d like to know what’s going on in my psyche—from a sex-research perspective. For one second, put your marriage woes on the back burner and shift the focus back to you. Hi everyone, this is my first post here so I am sorry if there are any formatting errors.. Last year I had a relationship with a girl for about 6 months. I was sure that he is not very emotional and doesn’t care how I … – Anonymous. Love is an in-your-face experience, and if you aren’t feeling the butterflies and the assurance and the ‘deep down knowing’, you aren’t in love. I honestly don't. I like who I am in my relationship. Scared of what it might mean to who they are, their relationships with friends and family, having children and a hundred other things that circle in our heads. My personal experience — how I understood my rebound relationship and got over it. I feel like I have to focus on work then think about a relationship. I started do get more and more confused with my feelings and scared. It can make you feel like a spare part in someone else’s life - as if you aren't as important to your partner as they are to you. Of course I was confused I had twenty-some years of conditioning to be a certain way and things were changing and I was trying to open up my mind to … all the things necessary in a good relationship. 1. My advice to you is similiar to advice I receive for my situation. We have 3 young kids and they are so confused by what she says to draw attention to herself. 2. i maybe you go after shitty guys because they're easier to let go then someone who gets really close to you and break your heart. If you find yourself feeling rather enamored, chances are, this is love. If, on the other hand, you don’t feel a deep sense of enchantment for your partner, you may be experiencing confusion, and this is a person who may not be right for you. Do you have things in common with this person? He has one of the most negative, trouble causing mother in the world, maybe universe. She may have been scared that it was moving too quickly and if that is the case I commend her for being honest before it got too deep. STEP 2: Back OFF! Even with the thoughts sometimes like 'I don't love him' or 'break up' I can just feel everything in myself disagreeing with the thoughts, that I KNOW that's not what I want or feel, and I cry because I become confused. 6. by Im-pure » Wed Jan 06, 2016 1:57 am It sounds like that rship triggered something in you and you hit a block. I’ve known Kirsten for 20 years, and even though she lives on the other side of the country, we remain very close and she knows all my shit. Get a pet: Seriously, I am fortunate to have two cats and a dog, and they have been my greatest support system. I feel good about who my partner is. I am in a truly dysfunctional relationship with a narcissist. If your Aries man is taking you to parties and other social gatherings with this crowd, you can be sure that this is an Aries man drifting toward love with you. When life is loud and fast and nonstop, it’s easy to slide into the next month, year, … You might think you've moved on — and believe it — but, suddenly, you realize that you're still thinking about your ex. I've been in my relationship for the past 5 yrs. #1 Someone’s always made your decisions for you. Thus, the narcissist constantly starts searching for a new narcissistic supply. Quotes on Confused Love. So confused. I am a perfectionist but a minimalist so it is even. 8. Here’s why you might be really indecisive. Left me so confused. Every time I see him, I feel so anxious and feel like I can’t act normal and this is so … I love my narcissist so much. Read Complete Poem. Obviously not so. We are. He even brought up the 3-some again and asked me if I am still OK with it if we date long term again. Out of nowhere he suddenly told me that everything was going so fast and he wasn’t ready to commit yet. As soon as we knew we could transfer him back home… my parents also paid for their tickets to fly back with me. By this we mean you need to realise that maybe you are gay/bi/ace/pan or any other sexuality, and that that’s completely fine. Even though I’m doing what I love, I experience confusion. Fri, Nov 4, 2016, 06:00. Yes I am having a hard time dealing who wouldn’t after five years together but I won’t show him that he doesn’t get to see what pain he caused. Would love to know what types of behaviour to watch out for so I can prevent this from happening. I feel like something is missing . When a woman says that, it means that you need to back off because she is feeling smothered. It sounds like you were faced with a decision: Break up or make up. The only thing that saved me waa when i remembered the scenario why i finally left after 10 years of relationship. Give him the gift of missing you, as my mentor once said, and take control of … I am so confused, he texts me every day, but rarely calls. Why am I falling out of love? Things have been really good and we have been crazy about each other, we both chased either from the start and we fell in love with each other pretty quickly. ... My past experience with my parents and relationships is another reason why I’m so hesitant about pursuing a new relationship so early on. If this is a question you find yourself asking a lot, there’s a problem. Trish Murphy. We both worked at the same office and she was on a 1yr project from abroad. because you and your partner just don’t have anything in common. I wish I can do both but for some reason I feel like I have to let him go yet I see him as my future husband. He can't feel that possible loss if you keep seeing him while he runs around confused and being led around by his "little head" - and his sense of inadequacy from a previous relationship. I hate to walk away. But love is the great phoenix; whenever you need it, or seek it, it’s yours. I am currently trying to get out of an abusive relationship. 5. Let alone a confused 16-year-old girl. Rudá made me realize that for a long time I’ve been trapped by the idea of having a perfect romance, and how that’s been sabotaging my relationships. Why is it that I feel like I’m doing the right thing, but yet I feel so heart broken, as well as guilty for breaking his heart? So my husband’s elder brother took care of the arrangements. I thought I was getting sick of Eastern Europe even though I love it here. I know my work is of high quality, though my clients believe my work is of a genius. Those early … I know I need to shield them from this negativity but haven't been able to do it yet. When Im not for other reasons, the relationship, in my eyes, needs to end! Becoming Superficial. Relationships are all about feelings. She Loves You, But Isn’t in Love With You Because You’re Not Giving Her the Attraction Experience That She Wants. I am a bi, white, married man—35 years old and living in a big Midwestern city. I love myself just as much as I love my partner. Jekyll-Mr. Hyde comes to mind. I’ve been alone for 5 years after a relationship that just broke my heart. Our families get on so well and all our friends are shocked and confused as its so out of the blue. I worry sometimes when others come to me and say I am confused about my sexuality and what they really are is scared. This is generally a new partner or a new ‘friends with benefits’ relationship. He’s Trying To Make You Jealous. But forcing love was never going to … So, as a relationship starts fading, the narcissist suffers a lack of narcissistic supply. One sign that this is more than a crush: "Your feelings don't dissipate over time but get stronger and deeper," says Irina Firstein, LCSW.
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